Soak No More! In Pain, Fear and Sorrow
Cancer! Mere mention of it can give goosebumps to anyone. We actually fret any of our close relative or friend getting caught in the trap of this life- threatening disease.
6th May 2008, we had planned to visit my friend’s place in Bangalore while we were out on family vacation to Bangalore, Mysore, Ooty. It was there that my dad first complained of stomachache and my friend’s hubby took him to the doctor. As usually expected, the doctor gave him some medicines and asked him to take some rests. We all didn’t even thought in the wildest of our dreams that this was the indicator that something worst is about to happen.
After taking medicines dad stopped complaining so we kind of forgot about his stomachache till the pain reoccured. By this time we were back to pavilion. Dad went to the doctor but despite taking the prescribed medicines for some days he couldn’t get rid of the pain. It was the beginning of visits to doctor’s clinic; one doctor after another but all in vain. It was after the doctors tried every best possible way that suggested ultrasound and CT scan.
Cancer! Was what the doctors said holding the CT scan and ultra sound reports. Bioscopy and endoscopy were the tests suggested for the confirmation. With our fingers crossed we kept waiting for the reports. All we were doing was praying till doctors saw the reports. With our heartbeats ringing fast we entered the doctor’s room with the hope that some miracle would happen and doctors would say ” no its not cancer”.
Stomach and esophagus cancer advance stage! The patient doesn’t have much time left. Do whatever possible thing to keep him happy and you can get the any sort of paper work done if you wish to. That was all that the doctors had to say. Thankfully, dad wasn’t’ there in the room. Shocking news it was that left us all dumbfounded.
Hiding the truth from dad, we all family members started getting his treatment done. It was not for long that we were successful in hiding dada’s illness from him and he came to new about it. One of close relative don’t know for what reason told dad everything regarding his illness.
Dad, an ideal man in my life had always worked hard and never gave up in any situation. Seeing him face all the hardships of life strongly I expected him to be really strong at this point too but to my surprise he gave up. Besides hospital visits, regular checkups, daily dose of medicines and treatment my dad stopped doing anything. Infact he stopped reacting to things. Throughout the day, he used to remain silent; just sitting back and thinking- don’t know what or I should say we all knew what was going on in his mind. We all understood what he was going through! The shocking news of having cancer can break anyones’ will power and my dad was in the same situation.
Well, we had no other choice than to hide our tears and pretend that everything was normal and nothing had happened by wearing the fake smile. Quite possible dad understood what we all were trying to do.
One month passed and we all were doing our bit to get dad the best possible treatment and serve him the best way. Getting the news of illness all friends and relatives started visiting our place with all their suggestions.
“Make fresh dalia, khichdi for him daily,” give him soups to drink and the list went on. Their concern was somewhat sympathizing which for no reason used to make us feel bad. Dad undeniably was not out of the shock. He remained the same for a long period of time; just sitting and thinking. Seeing dad in such state didn’t spread a good feeling around. Each moment we used to think about the steps we could take to make dad feel good. Sharing good old memories, talking about the weird attitude of people; making fun of them and talking about stupid TV programs were all that we did to distract dad and make him feel good no matter for how much time.
Sick and tired of sitting idle and thinking about the hard fact that he has no time left or you can say very less time one fine day dad got out of the bed and decided to go to the shop; work and earn till the time he was alive.
“SOAK NO MORE”! In fear, pain, sorrow and other ill feelings. Enough of sitting and thinking abut what has come upon us. Dad’s strong will power made him feel strong from within.
Forgetting everything bad or you can say intentionally ignoring what we have gone through and what the future had to unfold, we as a family united and did our bit to make things get back to normal.
With dad each family member be it mom, me, my sisters stood up with the strong thought of ‘Soaking no more!’
Everything seemed to be normal. Dad worked hard despite our insisting not to overstress, enjoyed every moment, mum made sure to cook best meal for dad; his choice was the main consideration. I strongly made every possible effort to get the best possible treatment for dad and succeeded to a great extent. Dad was recovering; he had put on weight that he lost in last few months.
Not the best days as each one of us was bit scared from within that one day we will have to face the worst scenario but those were somewhat the feel good days of dad’s illness. Good I say as in the time period for it was the time when I saw my dad as the super hero who suffered but didn’t forget the play hard and fight.
Forgetting every bad thing that had happened (or I should say was destined to happen), we all got back into routine.
He fought CANCER really hard. He used to get ready for the regular blood checkup before I was even out of the bed. I remember him saying “I am leaving you come afterwards”. And guess what he was going to the hospital for his radiotherapy.
It was during this peroid that my elder sister delivered a baby girl and my dad insisted to go and see the baby. No matter how hard it was for him to travel but he did; all because of his strong will power. Seeing his grand daughter was one of the last delightful moment of his life. Yes, the last one! Just few days after we came back to the hometown from my sisters’ place, dad passed away.
Nothing can bring dad back! But his strong will power and the promise to himself that he will soak no more in pain and fear he has left a mark on my personality. Whenever I am in pain and find myself in a bad situation where its almost impossible to come out of the pain; I talk to myself and tell how dad fought cancer and lived the best possible way despite knowing that he has very less time left.
“SOAK NO MORE” in pain, fear, sorrow are the words that inspire me and keep me going in the journey called life!
Surf Excel Matic promises soaking no more and making your clothes dirt free. Life itself gives us innumerable examples of soaking no more and freeing us from ill-feelings like sorrow, pain, worries to make us face us the hardships of life strongly.
This is the #SoakNoMore entry for the contest on IndiBlogger.in.
very inspiring and touching post. Goodluck for the contest.